MEDITASI MENGENAL DIRI

Krishnamurti Vipassana Meditation

 

Home IntroductionBahiya-suttaTestimonials

 

LISA HEITKAMP, 26, Buddhist, Holland, 12-14 December 2008 (Bali):

Setting:

The monastery is well located with compounds overlooking mountains and the ocean. I felt at ease here, it is a welcome place. The garden with its beautiful flowers, frogs and ponds gave me lots of positive energy.

Meditation:

There was a lot of freedom regarding to meditation. What I missed was a bit of structure. I really like to feel the energy of the group during sitting meditation, but now this was not happening because there were no set times. I expected to have a schedule, like in the 10-day retreat [in Wat Suan Mokkh in Thailand]. For me itu was a bit too much freedom. Sometimes I felt really lost in this as I don't have the discipline yet meditating by myself for +/- 10 hours a day!

Discussion:

I liked the group discussios, although sometimes the input from the group was a bit low, as there were only 3 persons.

I felt like discussing and talking more with Mr. Hudoyo, but didn't want to say too much because the other 2 persons didn't either. I still have some questions remaining, but I'm sure there will be an opportunity to ask them at one point.

I want to thank Mr. Hudoyo for teaching the three of us exclusively and in English! I didn't know the rest of the group didn't talk English ....

My own experience:

For me it was good to reflect on my own mind and thoughts. I really appreciated the silence around me and the opportunity to be silent myself. During my job (I'm a physical therapist) I am talking constantly, 9 hours a day. I learned through meditation to be more in charge of my thoughts and emotions, which helps me to find inner peace. There's a long road to go, but the start was good! Lisa

---------------------------------------

Hudoyo’s response:

@Lisa: your comment shows that you are still somewhat conditioned regarding a meditation retreat. You need a structured meditation schedule and you also need the atmosphere of a group sitting, so that you felt at a loss when you were given full freedom to make the best out of your time for yourself. Since MMD is not a tool or a technique to achieve whatever one may wish or desire --it is just a way of being aware from moment to moment-- so here you won't find any of the trappings of a traditional meditation retreat, like those which you found during your previous retreat in Thailand. Yes, in MMD you are given full freedom to do whatever you like with the available time you have at your disposal; but full freedom also brings about full responsibility on your part to make the most out of the freedom. You have to learn to live with that, because eventually it is what matters most.

*****

Cathy Anderson, 32, UK, 12-14 December 2008 (Bali):

A peaceful heartfelt experience. Thank you. I would like a longer meditation to dive deeper into the exploration of the teachings [Krishnamurti's] we shared.

*****

Jean-Pascal Elbaz, 46, France - October 19, 2008 (Mendut Monastery):

FREEDOM & AWARENESS

These are two words that accompanied me during this retret from beginning to end, which I brought with me everywhere I went.

The freedom which I felt from the start of MMD's retreat. A feeling of "beauty" in an calm and beautiful environment.

Freed me from any technique; this was a bold and interesting attitude for me.

Moreover, during discussions this Freedom was illustrated by a very honest reflection, very frank, which reflected the mental journey and deep intellect of Dr. Hudoyo.

To be aware of everything, the seen, the heard, the cognized without being involved in them is the essence of the Buddha's teachings.

Of course, out of this freedom various hindrances might arise, and that was what I experienced.

Without a technique which conditions the mind, without concentration which focussed on a fixed point (breath, label, sensations etc.), the mind tended to wander away.

Even though I could feel a tranquillity and see clearly the patterns of thought and ego, such as: sound > memories/dualism etc, I felt that in one day/two nights it was just a beginning of a long and correct process. Particularly for me, I want to continue and attend a longer retreat to enter more deeply into the process. The process of awareness.

This retreat, although short, gave me much inspiration and knowledge. From the meditation itself and from the discussions which encompassed various topics, giving explanation from the point of view of various traditions (Islam Sufi, Christianity, Hinduism) and always related the Dr. Hudoyo's own experience.

Every word makes sense.

MMD is very interesting and encourages me to keep aware without despair.

Thank you. Merci beaucoup.
Jean-Pascal Elbaz

*****

Ulla Zumbuehl, 54, Switzerland, Oct. 5, 2008 (Bali):

Dear Dr. Hudoyo

So, here I am, back in Switzerland. Greeted by a gray and cold morning of 12 degrees! Once again, let me thank you for the wonderful opportunity to participate at the meditation weekend in Vihara. It has stayed with me ever since. Here, as promised, my feedback:

I always thought mediation is not for me. At the yoga class I found it hard to stay focused even for the short 15 minute period. My mind (that I later learned to call the monkey mind) was all over the place but surely not quiet. I was often irritated by the constant thinking in my head and from a friend learned about the book The Power of Now. After reading this, I really started to realize how the thinking takes over.

I had the chance to spend one month in beautiful Bali and from a yoga teacher there I heard about this 3-day Vipasana that was to take place at the Buddhist Vihara temple in northern Bali. First I thought that I could not possibly do this but somehow the idea did not leave my mind. So there, I found myself en route to Vihara. I admit that I had no idea what Vipasana ment. I soon found out. We were woken at 3 am by a bell and then it was meditation until 10 pm. The meditation was interrupted only by group discussions with Dr. Hudoyo. As I was the only one of the 20 participants that did not understand Indonesian I had the priviledge to have private discussions with him.

Dr. Hudoyo impressed me immensily by his gentle, peaceful way. As he speaks excellent English, it was easy to follow his explanations. He has a very clear way of explaning and very good examples of visualizing what he means. Each and every time he also managed to give new strength and belief to a struggling meditator. To keep on trying, with monkey mind and all. For me it was very helpful that the meditation did not take place in groups and only in seated position. We were allowed to sit, lie down, walk, whatever way suited each individual best. Vihara has also these great little "pavillons" that were my favourite spots for meditating.

I am very grateful that I had the chance to go to Vihara and face this challenge. It is not that I was able to disconnect and go to this inner silent place but for a few very short moments. However, knowing that it is possible and having experienced the sweetness of those moments, I will for sure try to keep up Dr. Hudoyo's recommendation of daily 30 minutes practise.

I can only recommend this experience, should the opportunity come your way, take it!

Best regards from Zurich

Ulla Zumbuehl

*****

Sonja Elsegood, 51, Australia, June 22, 2008 (Bali):

What has been my experience from following three days of Meditasi Mengenal Diri? First of all, I wish to thank you very much, Pak Hudoyo, for a most useful experience and your very enlightening teachings. I learnt many things about both the nature of my own mental patterns and also about the nature of pure, perfect consciousness. During these 3 days I have been able to glimpse that inner stillness beyond the constant stream of thoughts and feelings. You have given me a lot to ponder on as well, particularly your comments this morning about the difference between awareness and experiencing the flow of thoughts and feelings with one's awareness as opposing to being the "observer" of one's thoughts and feelings. OF course it is supremely logical to say that the question 'Who is the observer?' already implies the 'I' being there. There is a subtle shift between awareness and consciousness in terms of becoming the observer.

I found your explanation yesterday about the 4 stages beginning with labelling which produce thought and thinking; as a teacher of critical thinking this idea is very clear to me because even the labelling process itself can involve judgement and evaluation. I thought of a saying, "The difference between a flower and a weed is simply a judgement." Just a name, but a plant called a flower is valued whereas one called a weed is seen to be rubbish needing to be destroyed. But actually a weed appreciated for itself can be a very beautiful plant as well as a flower. In the academic world I move, every single word used to describe something encapsulates a judgement and manifests a whole mental construct often which is culturally based.

Thank you, Pak Hudoyo, for making this clear and paving the way for us to develop a suffering-free form of consciousness, where using our awareness we are able to accept whatever is at that moment, 'apa adanya', without torturing ourselves constantly by judging good/bad.

After these 3 days I feel my senses, including my mind is steadied, not being pulled here and there so easily. I also feel more in touch with myself, not muy ego self, but myself as the core that pervades the universe and all objects, animate and inanimate.

I find your technique, MMD, to be a very useful and appropriate one for me. Your explanations about the other vipassana techniques really made sense to me because they articulated my own concerns for many years. I have always been baffled by technniques which try to achieve something, no matter how wonderful that something is, because that striving to achieve it means the ego is still at the helm of our endeavours, which cannot but fail if our goal is egolessness.

Your comments about the symbolism of Christ are very interesting and thought-provoking. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar has also talked on this topic. His view is that the meaning of Christ's sacrifice and crucifixion is to exemplify the importance of surrender in the spiritual path. The whole tradition of gurus probably exemplifies this. As you say, we cannot "save" ourselves, because the very desire to save ourselves already pushes the ego to the fore.

Buddhism is a somewhat different path, because it emphasises using wisdom to gain insight into Maya. But the guru path uses 'surrender'. This mind with all its conflicts and beauty I surrender to you. In my case, being more a heart person rather than a head, the path of surrender is very appealing to me because it emphasises love and loving kindness as the source of all breaking down the ego barriers and realising oneness.

As you say, we each have our right path, but your Meditasi Mengenal Diri has been a very useful addition to my path and I will most definitely join again. THANK YOU!"

*****

Maria Carolina Rahal Gonzales, 24, Sao Paulo, Brazilia, one-week retreat, March 8, 2008 (Bali):

This one week opened the beginning, and will be for all life.

*****

Claude Chaunard, Quebec, Canada, November 2, 2007 (Bali):

The experience was purposeful and challenging.
Your teaching is clear, as clear as one can get on such subjects as the self.
I found bits & pieces of a state of mind I had reached a long time ago.
I will look for the one who is watching and do my best to keep it meditating on
a daily basis. I know it is the way.
Thank you for visiting Bali and for sharing your wisdom & knowledge with us.

*****

Lisa Schnike-Heinze, Germany, November 2, 2007 (Bali):

After five-week holiday in Bali, it is like a red line that led me here.
Although I was very interested in their Hinduistic religion, and I appreciated
their serious practices like blessings, ceremonies, I also felt, that the
Balinese people are too much bound by their religious rules like we are in our
Christian churches, and often do not understand why we are doing religious
things.

So, at the first day of my holiday, I was invited by an artist from Java,
who lives in Ubud, and from him I bought a very beautiful Buddha statue, which I
put at a nice place in my guest-house, and I meditated every day for several
minutes there with my ‘new friend’.

By chance (?) I found a book (in German!) in a secondhand bookshop in Ubud
by Krishnamurti, ‘Ein___(?) in die Freiheit’, which gave me new interesting
ideas! I didn’t know that our meditation teacher in the Buddhist Monastery is a
student of Krishnamurti. And when I was invited by a Dutch girl, whom I met ‘by
chance’, to this meditation weekend and learned of that, my heart really
throbbed!

I appreciated our teacher very much, for how he taught in a very gentle way
and the interesting thoughts he gave us mostly experienced by the Buddha
himself. Especially when he said every time after his talks, ‘Now forget it all
and experience it for yourself!’ This is what I also bought from this artist: a
cloth with a saying of the Buddha: ‘Believe nothing and nobody, unless it agrees
with your own thinking and experience!’

So, dear reader, ‘Forget and live now by your own experience!’

*****

Petra de Kleyn, the Netherlands, November 2007 (Bali):

The last few days I followed the meditation course in the temple of Bali. It
was a very special experience for me. To be quiet and sit and walk. From the
early morning until the evening. Be aware of yourself. No talking, writing or
reading. Just be quiet and experience your awareness. A wonderful experience.
Thanks for getting the possibility of enjoying this experience in my life.

*****

Joe Warren, USA, November 2, 2007 (Bali):

Buddhist temple in Banjar, near Lovina, offers everything to allow you to hunt
within:
- observing with no reaction to how the mind is
- peaceful setting in the hills overlooking the ocean
- nutritious food
- loving keepers
- comfy bed & room
- tranquil meditation places.

*****

Ingrid Depijper, Amsterdam, The Netherlands, November 2, 2007 (Bali):

My experience in joining a meditation weekend at Bali’s only Buddhist monastery

Except for some short meditation moments in yoga class, I had no experience with meditation for longer periods of time. When I arrived at the monastery I directly felt very comfortable and welcome. During the two days of meditation we had six discussions with our meditation teacher, who taught us, in very good English, the Vipassana meditation techniques. I found the meditations and discussions very learnful. It helped me to become more aware, and gave several tools on how to maintain awareness in ordinary life. It were two days in a totally unknown world that were very special for me in many ways; challenging your body, observing your mind & body, experriencing peacefulness through meditation. Thank you for this wonderful gift that has come to me!

*****

Andoni Amorebieta, Spain, November 2, 2007 (Bali):

Observing, watching, trying to be aware. So many things happen, and all are
impermanent.
They are not, they are, they gone.

*****

Hannelore Gut, Germany, November 2, 2007 (Bali):

I attended the 3-day Insight Meditation in the hope to understand what
meditation is and what is not, and to receive guidance for my personal practice.

The sitting and walking meditations brought me in contact with myself and I
could observe and experience over the 3 days how everything within and aroud
constantly changing. Throbbing pain during sitting meditation became less and
less, opening space for emotions to come up and go as well.

After the 3 days I feel an inner calm not experienced for quite a while.
The healing following meditations encouraged me to read as well about different
schools of meditation.

MMD Discussion Forum

Email me